But first, a bit of history

I was the only girl in my household, raised with one older brother and two younger ones. I was a tomboyish, introverted, socially and athletically awkward middle child. My classmates teased me for my red hair, for getting the highest test scores in the class, for my thrift-store and hand-me-down clothing, for my name. I was probably an easy target. My stepdad and I did not exactly get along because I stubbornly wanted to understand the why of everything, rather than just obeying his orders as he very clearly would have preferred. I had such an affinity for animals that I rescued mice from my grandmother’s cats and saved drowning worms from puddles after it rained. Whenever I could, I would climb the tree in the backyard to sit on my favorite branch and read a book.

Books were my refuge from the difficulties in my life. They enabled me to live someone else’s life for a while, to vicariously visit fascinating places and meet kind people and have far more interesting problems than my real ones.  Because my family was (and still is) very religious, there were also things I might never have learned about, or at least not until much later, if not for my insatiable love of reading.

A Completely New Thing

It feels sort of wrong to write about non-political topics with all of the horrific and traumatic things happening in this country. But I do think it’s still important. Possibly it’s even more important than usual, because firstly we all need periodic respite from the awfulness, and secondly because speaking and writing publicly about certain subjects can be a form of resistance.

Therefore, I’m going to share some very personal sex stuff right now.

Have you ever reached a point in your life when you thought you had pretty thoroughly explored and fully understood your own sexuality, and then, without warning, you learned something entirely new about your sexual responses?

Gigolino by Fun Factory

The elegant Gigolino holds such promise. Swathed in slightly squishy silicone with a suede-like surface, shaped for broad or focused external stimulation as well as internal stimulation, made in non-traditional shades of soft French blue and deep red-orange, it speaks of streamlined sophistication. And it’s made by Fun Factory, a German brand with a well-deserved reputation for high quality.

For those who are on the high end of the clitoral sensitivity scale, or who want a slender-ish, flexible, vaginally insertable vibrator with gentle g-spot stimulation and gentle vibrations, it may even fulfill that promise. (It does not have a flared base, so it isn’t safe for anal use.) Its vibration frequency is fairly rumbly, there are six speeds and six patterns to choose from, about 6″ of the total 8″ length is insertable, and the shape of the tip gives a choice of g-spot sensations.

Opal by Jopen

It’s clichéd, but it’s true: I have a love-hate relationship with the Opal.

I love it for being a rechargeable silicone vibrator coated in glass. Smooth, slippery, shiny, sterilizable glass. I’ve searched and searched, and I’ve found plastic battery-operated vibrators with glass sleeves, most of which are just ugly, or plastic battery-operated vibrators covered in matte-textured glass, which defeats the main purpose of glass as a sex toy material; I’ve found glass dildos with a loop for holding a bullet vibrator. That’s it. Nothing else. So I emphatically congratulate Jopen on that feature alone. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT FEATURE, JOPEN.

Jopen made the original Key Comet G Wand (which appears to have been discontinued in favor of the newer acrylic vibrating version), a glass g-spot dildo with the insertable end coated in silicone. The company reversed that process with the Opal, which was clearly a fabulous idea. The slickness of glass makes it one of my favorite sex toy materials, and I would dearly love to see more high-quality, rechargeable, glass-coated vibrators.

G-Spot (Small) by BS Atelier

I’d been interested in trying this silicone dildo for at least a year or two, but was concerned that the shape would be too extreme for my ultra-sensitive vagina. Because of this doubt, each time I had the room in my budget for something new, I always purchased some other toy. I now know that was a mistake.

When a delightful Twitter chat with a BS Atelier rep resulted in an offer of products for review, the G-Spot in their Small size was one of the three shapes in which I expressed interest. Their rep told me they’d send something out to me, but it could take some time because, oh, they make each toy to order. How cool is that?

Key Aries by Jopen

I had low expectations for the Aries based on its size, but also high hopes for it based on its shape.

The reality falls somewhere in the middle.

Yes, as a small vibrator, it’s decidedly buzzy — though not the MOST buzzy I’ve ever felt. A given vibrator’s position on the buzzy-to-rumbly scale seems to be determined mainly by the size of the spinning weight inside it, so it’s very unusual to find a bullet-sized vibe that ISN’T firmly on the buzzy end of the spectrum. Since most of the space inside the Aries is taken up by the single AAA battery, there isn’t much room left for the motor and spinning weight.

I have a super-power

In which I discuss the scent of Fuze Ten

I recently bought the Rebel by Fuze from SheVibe, which is made of their softer silicone formulation, Fuze Ten. To my nose, it has a light smell. Not a terrible smell, but I’m used to scent-free silicone toys. So, I emailed Fuze to ask about the material and what could be causing the smell.

The response I got came quickly and was very polite, but I’m ambivalent about it.

Magnum by Fun Factory

Vintage Reviews | This is a series of reviews I wrote in 2013, lightly edited for publication here.

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Is it a dildo, or a work of art? The Magnum is both, with its sleek, statuesque lines and velvety finish. It has a wonderfully semi-realistic shape which, in my opinion, is an improvement on the “real thing.” If your type is firm, long, and on the thicker side, this tall drink of water will leave you feeling very satisfied.

The Magnum can be used for strap-on or solo sex. The base is a unique three-leaf-clover shape with rounded edges, which will hold it firmly in your harness or give you a comfortable handle. It’s made of pure silicone, so it’s safe for your body and can be used anywhere your heart desires.